Thankfulness - Day 3

Today I am thankful for men and women that sacrifice so much for my freedom. Something I can never repay. I am thankful today that my precious friends son who just graduated from boot camp is now home for some very deserved R & R!

We are all so very thankful for you Blake. 

CONGRATULATIONS!! 

Thankfulness - Day 2

I am thankful for a God who loves us so much that through natures beauty He is impossible to deny! 

Thankful November - Day 1

I don't normally give in to the trends of today but I felt there was nothing wrong with making a Thankful list for the month of November.
I keep thinking I could list everything I am thankful for in one blog post but instead I will post daily what I am thankful for as well as a photo. The difficulty level of this project is: HIGH
But I have purposed to do this, and so I shall. Not because I am not thankful but blogging everyday is daunting to me. But I want these things documented, so here we go:


Starting with the one thing I am most thankful for beyond anything else in this world,  my family. Of course you knew I was going to say that but it's because I have so much to be thankful for when it comes to my family.
My son Jon who is courageous and funny.
My daughter  Katie who is tenacious and unwavering in her faith.
My daughter Kelsey who is thoughtful and tender hearted.
My daughter in law Alex who is smart and a really great mom to my grandson!
My grandson, Cole who is precious and brilliant!!
My husband Kevin, who is loving and the most amazing person in the world!

You all have taught me so much. God has put each of you in my life to make me the person he wants me to be and I am Thankful for you all!

A Little Stay at Home Mom Encouragement!

There are those moments in life that make you question everything.

Why am I here?

What have I ever done that is worth anything?

What will I do now?

What am I really worth?

I believe that no one can make you feel worthless unless you allow them to!  But there are times that a little cutting word can make you question everything.

I have been a stay at home mom for 22 years. I have raised 3 kids to be responsible grown ups, caring and loving individuals with independent spirits. That is a great accomplishment, isn't it? 

Then the show stopper comes. Watching a popular T.V. show last week where one of the mothers was a lawyer and has suddenly chosen to stay at home. But in the little time that she has been home she feels, WORTHLESS. Her home isn't satisfying her. Why? Because her worth is in her Paycheck. 

Sitting in a Starbucks with my little pink Mac Book Pro last week in my carpi's and a sweatshirt. This very attractive young lady with long brown locks perfectly curled, A tan pencil skirt and nude high heels with a black blouse, absolute perfectly coordinated outfit, walks in. She is at the top of her game! Professional, beautiful, slim and ready to take on the world.

For a moment I felt that feeling of worthlessness creep in, saying;

When was the last time you looked like that?

What important client did you meet with recently?

And then the kicker, (and this one takes my breath away): These are the kinds of women your husband sees everyday! 

I read today in the Huffington Post that moms that stay at home are more likely to be angry and depressed than mothers that work outside the home. It went on to say that formal employment or at least the income associated with it has emotional benefits for mothers which in turn benefits the kids.

Holy smokes, one discouragement after another!  I could really let this get me down if I wanted to. Especially since I have not been gainfully employed in 22 years.

Especially since I have no kids to parent anymore and no "real job" at least not one that pulls in a paycheck.

My worth, thank the Lord, is not tied into these things or these emotions.

 Does it get me down from time to time? Yes, of course there is nothing the enemy loves more than to defeat you with your own family.

Causing you to question and then resent anything and everything you do, with and for them.Making you feel worthless.

It is his best ammunition. If he can defeat you with your own family he wins big time! He gets you and your family!!!! 

Be the gatekeeper of your home and DO NOT ALLOW THESE THOUGHTS TO HUNT YOU DOWN!

You are raising the next generation of great leaders, business men and women, doctors, lawyers, artists, nanny's, Mom's and Dad's!!

If you are raising them in a defeated attitude then neither you or the ones you're raising up will ever recognize their worth or where that worth comes from! A most high God who loves them and has called them! 

Be encouraged today to stick with it! It's a high call that you have been given! Don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, minimize your life as a stay at home mom! 

Psalm 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect!!!! 

SEE YOU WIN! 

9-11 Now and Forever

On 9-11 I am always reminiscent of the events of that fateful day. We as a country saw things we

thought we would never see in our lifetime. We all recall where we were when we saw the events that took place. I was delivering gym shoes to my Jr. high school son when I saw the T.V.'s in the office. Never imagining that son would travel to Afghanistan to fight in the war that would follow those events.
FAST FORWARD 12 years to 9-11, 2013

 I cannot help but think of the night Jon left for Afghanistan. It was 4 years ago tonight that we waited for our son's phone call to say good-bye to us before he left.
The call came. We were standing in the middle of our living room where so many family events and memories had taken place.
This was one I will never forget.
This was probably the most difficult night of my life. We talked for about 10 minutes and we all could feel the conversation coming to an end. We had Jon on speaker phone and I looked across the kitchen island at Kevin, my hands trembling, lips quivering and the conversation was over. I said to Kevin, "I can't push end. I can't breath!"
Hyperventilating, I walked to the sliding glass door and pretended to let the dog out. I walked out on to the deck.
The night was warm and the sky was perfectly clear. I looked to the west sky and hoped in some way that my heart felt love would be enveloped in the stars and somehow Jon would see them and feel it too. I sat on the steps of our deck and sobbed. I cried from somewhere so deep inside me, it hurt me physically. I literally could not breath. Kevin tried to snap me out of the fear that was entangling me. But it had a hold on me. I couldn't stop crying. The,what if's and the unknown's were consuming my spirit.
Kevin took me by the shoulders and said, "stop it Jenni your son is a Marine. he is ready for this and God has him in the palm of his hand."
I knew it was true and felt comforted for a moment but the waves of emotion kept coming like a flood. Then in my mind I remembered that I dedicated Jon to Lord when he was a baby. I needed to do it again. He was never mine to begin with. God gave him to me and entrusted him to me for a short time. To develop a man that would fight for the freedoms of this great country.
I did my job, its time for Jon to do his.
Peace swept over me. I felt like I was sitting in the cleft of the Rock. Protected. Peaceful. Powerless. It was then that I began to see, this deployment was meant for ME to grow.
I saw a warrior on the inside of my closed eyes. I know that He equips the called and Jon was indeed, called.
Peace. Floods of Peace came over me.
I wish I could say that I rested in that Peace for the duration of the 7 month deployment, but I did not. My faith was shaken many times by news stories or a discouraging phone call from Jon. 
But, I can say that God's faithfulness never changed. He had plans to for Jon. Plans to give him hope and a future and not to harm him!! 
Here we are on the eve of 9-11-2013 and my family is safe in their beds. 
As I wrap up this writing I am reminded not only of the events of 9-11 and the sacrifices of many for this country. But I am reminded and will never forget, God's goodness and faithfulness to me and my family! I do not deserve his hand of favor but I believe it is on this family and I will not be like those before me who forgot God's hand on them and lost their way. (Israelites)  I see his hand in everything we do. I am so grateful for a God who sees me as valuable even in my worst state and takes me under his wing for rest.  So I will always remember what he has done for me and the sacrifice he gave for me. 

So while I thank my son and those who fight for our freedom here on earth and realize I can never repay them for all they have done.
I thank also, my God who is my rock and my salvation. Who gives me freedom from all things everyday and I realize I can never repay Him. 
The great thing is neither one requires it. 
So I will serve both with gratitude and gratefulness and give my life in honor of theirs. 
But thank my God in whom I trust for eternal life and eternal freedom! 

Whirl Wind

Monday June 3rd 2013 Is a day that will live with me forever. 

A day that brought us the greatest joy since our kids were born.

Our incredible son and daughter-in-law gave us our very first Grandson!
 I am flooded with love and connection with this tiny little boy.
Cole Hunter came into this world at or around 7:20 pm  weighing a mere 6 pounds 7 ounces.

To see my son and the way he looked at his son with all the hopes and dreams wrapped up in this little bundle of boy, was truly and incredible sight.






Still very surreal to be called Grandma and Grandpa but I wouldn't trade it for anything! This is the best of both worlds.
Hold them
Snuggle them
Love them
Have a blast with them
Read To them

SPOIL THEM
Then send them home
All the fun without the responsibility.





But, Grandpa and I do feel a great responsibility to Cole, to be Godly examples. To teach him why we love Jesus so he will one day love him too.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth!

Cole Hunter I make you these promises.

I will always love you!

I will always hug you, (even when you think you're to cool to hug your G-ma when you're a teenager!)

Every moment with you is priceless and I will always treasure our time together.

I will do my level headed best to show you how cool Jesus is so you will love him like I do one day!

There's just one more thing, I promise the cookie jar will always be full! 

I can't promise you that I will have baked them always, but the jar will be full! (as soon as you have teeth!!)

 We love you Cole Hunter Bettelli we are so blessed that God gave you to us.

You are truly a gift that we will always treasure!  

The Last Bird

All of the sudden it hit me.

All of my kids are adults and out of school.

My responsibilities have diminished significantly.

I began thinking what this means and came up with a “short” list that goes something like this:

I will never shop for school supplies again. (for my kids)

I will never run to the bus stop because we’re running late.

I will never tie another shoe and look like a genius to my kids.

I will never have a late night run to the grocery store for Lunchable's and pudding packs for the field trip.

I will never sign another permission slip.

I will never hear, “ Mom, can you wash this so I can wear it tomorrow?” (At 10:30 pm!)

I will never have to run gym shoes to the school so they won’t get detention.

I will never have to go to conferences EVER again!

I will never make another brown bag lunch with a little love note in it.

I will never plan another school party.

I will never have to run to the 24 hour Walgreen's at 11 pm because someone needs Tag Board for a school project.

I will never write another check for school pictures. (oh wait!!!)

I will never watch another one of my kids in a school play.

I will never again help build Rome in a night!!! ( 5^Th Grade Rome project)

I will never get another call from the school nurse!

I will never have to call the school nurse to tell her they won’t be there.

I will never have to sit in the carpool line!

I will never have the smell of water logged cleats in my car!

I will never feel guilty for throwing away a peanut Butter sculpture that is unidentifiable but I love it because you made it!!!!

It may seem silly to think of these things as my last child graduated high school in June.

But I really feel like I just lost my job.

I feel a little purposeless.

I have no idea what I am going to do when I grow up!

As friends were questioning my daughter as to what her plans for the fall were, at her graduation party.  I was thinking to myself, what are my plans?

What do I want to do?

Where is my future headed?

Sound a little selfish? Not at all, I have worked at home for 23 years.

My pension is watching my kids flourish.

Seeing them grow beyond who they thought they could be.

What greater reward is there?

So, as I embark on my new season of life. I have to ask myself, What do I want to do? What is most important to me? What am I passionate about?

Then there is a silence. There is nothing I can even think of that I would want to do? I have lived my life for my family and they are my career.

Many thoughts of what I would like to do come to mind but what God wants of me is greater and sometimes harder to hear. So I will wait.

But as I watch my last little bird fly. My throat has a little lump in it. It's getting harder to swallow and tears are filling my eyes. 

I could pat myself on the back because this has not been an easy endeavor but through prayer, love and trust in the Lord, I am done with this season. Never to return.

But, new things will come and I wait with anxious anticipation. 

Congratulations to my sweet Kelsey. I love you with all my heart, to the moon and back! INFINITY!