Monday, July 15, 2013
The Last Bird
All of the sudden it hit me.
All of my kids are adults and out of school.
My responsibilities have diminished significantly.
I began thinking what this means and came up with a “short” list that goes something like this:
I will never shop for school supplies again. (for my kids)
I will never run to the bus stop because we’re running late.
I will never tie another shoe and look like a genius to my kids.
I will never have a late night run to the grocery store for Lunchable's and pudding packs for the field trip.
I will never sign another permission slip.
I will never hear, “ Mom, can you wash this so I can wear it tomorrow?” (At 10:30 pm!)
I will never have to run gym shoes to the school so they won’t get detention.
I will never have to go to conferences EVER again!
I will never make another brown bag lunch with a little love note in it.
I will never plan another school party.
I will never have to run to the 24 hour Walgreen's at 11 pm because someone needs Tag Board for a school project.
I will never write another check for school pictures. (oh wait!!!)
I will never watch another one of my kids in a school play.
I will never again help build Rome in a night!!! ( 5Th Grade Rome project)
I will never get another call from the school nurse!
I will never have to call the school nurse to tell her they won’t be there.
I will never have to sit in the carpool line!
I will never have the smell of water logged cleats in my car!
I will never feel guilty for throwing away a peanut Butter sculpture that is unidentifiable but I love it because you made it!!!!
It may seem silly to think of these things as my last child graduated high school in June.
But I really feel like I just lost my job.
I feel a little purposeless.
I have no idea what I am going to do when I grow up!
As friends were questioning my daughter as to what her plans for the fall were, at her graduation party. I was thinking to myself, what are my plans?
What do I want to do?
Where is my future headed?
Sound a little selfish? Not at all, I have worked at home for 23 years.
My pension is watching my kids flourish.
Seeing them grow beyond who they thought they could be.
What greater reward is there?
So, as I embark on my new season of life. I have to ask myself, What do I want to do? What is most important to me? What am I passionate about?
Then there is a silence. There is nothing I can even think of that I would want to do? I have lived my life for my family and they are my career.
Many thoughts of what I would like to do come to mind but what God wants of me is greater and sometimes harder to hear. So I will wait.
But as I watch my last little bird fly. My throat has a little lump in it. It's getting harder to swallow and tears are filling my eyes.
I could pat myself on the back because this has not been an easy endeavor but through prayer, love and trust in the Lord, I am done with this season. Never to return.
But, new things will come and I wait with anxious anticipation.
Congratulations to my sweet Kelsey. I love you with all my heart, to the moon and back! INFINITY!