Friday, February 19, 2010

No matter where I am or what I am doing, as soon as my phone rings the weird number I have come to know as Jon's number,I answer. I cling to every word he says. Some days he is up and other days he is as down as down can be.
Today was a great day. He was so happy and upbeat. Gave me his throaty little laugh that I miss so much it hurts. He talked to me for 15 minutes.
Its always the best 15 minutes of my day!
I hang up the phone and floods of tears come to my eyes. Why is today different? Most days i can hang up and pray and no tears. But not today. My heart is heavy and I miss him like crazy. The uncertainty of when we will see him again weighs heavy on my heart. And so in my bathroom, I kneel to the ground and cry.
Even now as I attempt to write this my heart hurts. Tears fill my eyes so much I can hardly see the keys to type.
I miss him. I miss his face, I miss his messes, I miss his hugs, I miss the way he lays stomach first on the couch with his legs tucked up underneath him. When he was little we called that snuggy bug. I'm sure as a Marine he would want me to leave that part out. But I can't. I miss him.
Oh dear Lord you have had your hand of protection on him his whole life. you have led him to this strange land and you have protected him.
Keep him in your will and fill his mind with dreams. Give him direction and guide and protect him, all the days of his life. May he trust you with his everything.
Thank you Lord My son, My Marine, My Hero.