Love Language.

I have learned my love language.
Yes indeed after 44 1/2 years I finally know what makes me tick.
I love to make things special for people. Everything we do, I have a vision before hand on what I think It should be like.
In return my hope and heart expect the same thing from others.
I guess I would have to then compare myself and my expectations to those of Clark W. Griswold.
Who usually gets a bad wrap for his temper tantrums that typically involve obscenities. When reality does not meet expectation.
 I can honestly say I would never do that. (my fingers may or may not be crossed, You can decide)
However you view our dear friend Clark. All he really wants for his family is for things to be "SPECIAL" You can't fault him for that.
I actually cannot believe I am comparing myself to a fictional character, however it seems to really fit.

When your expectations are as high as ours, there is really only one place for them to go. Frozen eyes and impossible situations!

Does this mean I should stop having expectations for events and such?
Because that is never going to happen.
I need to make things special for my family and friends when we do things together because that is how I operate. What does need to change is what I expect from others to return to me.

Since my children were young I was always striving for ways to make even the mundane days special. Sometimes by my little notes attached to candy in their lunches, or a surprise visit to take them out of school to a movie or shopping.
Or Christmastime always trying to find new ways to make the holidays special.
Whatever the case may be, it is about making it special and making a memory for all not just for me.

What I have now realized is this, making things special or doing special things does not mean you will ever receive the same in return. Just because it is my Love Language does not mean it is everyone else's.
This is going to be a difficult thing to wrap my brain around but I must. For my own sanity as well as every newel post in my house! (watch Christmas Vacation to understand.)

Perhaps the lesson learned is lets just enjoy our moments together and appreciate the little things in life.
Yep. I think it is as simple as that!

Gratefulness

Gratefulness
A word  society is quickly eliminating from our vocabulary.
I however, have decided to take on the GRATEFULNESS CHALLENGE!

I  purchased a Smash journal at Target and I will use that as my Gratefulness Journal.
Smash Journals are found in the scrapbook isle at Target. They come in many colors pink, yellow, red and black. I spruced mine up to fit me! A little Glue and paper and you're good to go!

I realize journaling is not something that is every one's gift. However, this seems like a task I can wrap my brain around. It is definitely something everyone could easily do.

So, I am challenging myself to 365 days of Gratefulness. This is not going to be easy for me. Not because I am not Grateful, but because I sometimes I find myself busy. Which I believe is the main reason we are forgetting how to be Grateful!
We just get to busy.
So let me challenge you! Even if you don't take these elaborate  measures, just use a notebook or post it notes for higher impact!!
I challenge you to become more Grateful by taking the GRATEFUL CHALLENGE!!
You might even surprise yourself at all the many blessings you have been given!
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!

Three Years Later

Three years ago tonight, in fact right now at 9:35 pm 3 years ago, I was having a conversation with my son who was just hours away from Deployment to Afghanistan. 9-11-09

I recall the evening as if it were today.
Jon had told us he would call us at 9:00 pm and that they would not be taking their phones with them so he was not sure as to when he would get to call us again so we scheduled the time.
My phone rang and we talked on speaker phone for what seemed like seconds but it was more like a half hour.
As I could feel the conversation coming to an end I looked at my phone and realized at some point soon I was going to have to press END CALL.
I did not want to do that. I did not want to say good-bye. I did not want to let go!

When the call ended, I walked out on my deck in the cool of the evening only to find the breeze did not cool me. I sat on the stairs of my deck, my head heavy in my hands and I cried.
I cried from some place deep within me. The deepest part of a Mom's heart. Its called the WHAT IF place.
What if I never got to talk to him again?
What if the words that I said were the last ones he would hear, did they matter?
What if when I hugged him 3 months prior, that was the last hug?
What if??
Tears flowed like the falls over the rocks. I had never felt this desperation. Grabbing on to the edge of the stairs I found myself unable to breath. Realizing I had completely lost it, my husband shook me by the shoulders and said strongly, "stop it! Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ!!"

It seemed so rough and cruel but it snapped me out of my hyperventilating.
Calming down was not in the cards though. Not for 7 long months and many shoulder shaking moments to follow. Some from Kevin some from my best friend Laura! Who sat with me one day while I was in heap on my floor crying because I had stupidly watched the news, only to hear 16 men had been killed in Afghanistan.

It was bad enough that he was deploying, but on 9-11??? Seriously?? It seemed so cruel.

Tonight as I look at the impact that deployment had on our family I am fully aware that it was all part of God's plan.  Turning our hearts toward Him!
Some people have said to me, "wow that went really fast." My reply has always been, "For who?" When you are living it, it is not fast!
Jon returned home safe and sound to a street full of flag waving people who appreciate his service.
But most importantly, JON RETURNED!
Our family was drawn closer together through his distance. We learned to pray like we have never prayed before.
We see Military Mom/Dad bumper stickers and pray immediately for the Mom/Dad in that car as well as the service member no matter where he/she is.
Life changes when you have skin in the game as we did. So we understand what other parents are going through.

Three years ago tonight I couldn't breath because my son was leaving for Afghanistan.
Tonight as I write this my son called me just to talk. I am breathing easier these days!

Hearing his voice tonight was the icing on the cake for me. Even though I know he is home with his wife, safe and sound just a few miles away from me. I am grateful every time I hear him.
 Every time he sits at  my kitchen table.
Every time I see his face.
I beam with pride when I see men and women in their uniforms because I know their sacrifice.
 I have experienced it.
I thank God for our amazing son and the thousands just like him. So willing to give of their time and even their lives,  for this great country.

Mom's with sons and daughters and husbands currently serving. Know that my heart is with you. I pray for you everyday!
May God make his face to shine upon them all, this day and forever more!

New Perspective

First day of my last child's School Days!
Can it be? Has this day finally arrived?
I recall standing outside our new house when Jon was starting Kindergarten and waiting with nervous, excited, anticipation for the bus. The bus that would never arrive. In fact for three panic stricken days the bus did not come to our corner.
Finally by the second week of school they had figured out that the intersecting streets on the map, intersect in two places!
Then Two years later, Katie waits on the same corner with the same nervous anticipation as does our last child Kelsey another two years later.

Now, fast forward 13 years. I lay in bed while my oldest, (now married and not living at home! ) leaves for school.
My middle child leaves for school and the baby of the family leaves for her full-time nanny job. Toting her computer AKA, homeschool, along with her beginning her senior year!!

It is so incredible to me to look back and realize how fast the time has gone.

This is no longer a new chapter in the Book Of Bettelli Life for me. This is an entirely new book in the series.
One that I cannot seem to put down!

Gone, are our days of backpacks and spiffy new shoes, packing lunches, signing emergency cards, breakfast on the go, driving them when they missed the bus, driving back when they forgot their lunch. Driving back again when they forgot their permission slip, field trips, room mom duties and buying school supplies!!! (that one hurts the most)

But, I will tell you this, the fact that I was fortunate enough to GET to do all of those things everyday of my life has been the greatest reward!
You see, looking back at the last 20 years I can say with all honesty that I HAVE NO REGRETS!

That is the best reward of being a stay at home mom.
Was it easy? Uh, is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with no oxygen easy? No, it was not always easy. Sometimes I felt forgotten, unappreciated, invisible and just plain tired.
However, all of that was producing in me, perseverance, patience, kindness and self control.
I now know that my kids were God's design for me to become the woman he was making me.

So on your Mt. Kilimanjaro days, please keep this in mind. It won't always be this hard.
Someday you might be alone in your house on the first day of school at 8:30 and still in your jammies writing a blog! Hoping your truth will change someone else's  perspective.
Send your kids off with a tear or a smile and skip in your step. Neither one is wrong!
 Enjoy every moment and be there when they need you and know that when you all "grow up" they will return the favor!!

Refreshing

You know that little REFRESH button we all need to press from time to time on our computers? 

I have a REFRESH button too! I found it this last week.

It's in the shape of Florida!

We have been busy this summer with so many wonderful things so we decided to just get away from Mn for a few days and soak up some sun somewhere else.

It used to be hard for me to leave Mn. in the summertime because we only have it for such a short time. I always wanted to make sure I took full advantage of every beautiful Minnesota day. 

I love my state, but I have to admit I have a love that captured my heart from the time I stepped off of the plane when I was 18 years old. 

Our family took a trip to Orlando Florida and I instantly fell in love with the Sunshine State.

We have traveled to many destinations in FL since that wonderful day when I married a Floridian! And I do believe I have found my retirement home.

Clearwater Beach Florida! 

Oh my heart!! There is so much to do and if you want to do nothing  you can do that too! All while holding a Pina Colada and wearing a bikini no matter what size you are! 

I'm hooked!

 From the bay area's spectacular views to the beautiful Sunset festival every night at Pier 60.

It is truly a scene i could relive again and again! 

As I was laying on the beach I looked out into the water only to see dolphins (another spectacular sight that would certainly never get old!) jumping in the water right in front of us.

Soon after that i saw this sweet 80-90 year couple holding hands walking on the beach. He, sporting what I can only refer to as a, Banana Hammock with a rather large Tattoo on his bum. 

His rather hunched bride wearing a bikini that was the same fabric as his suit. Upon closer examination, the woman, 80-90 years old, was also sporting a belly button ring!

It was then that I realized WHO THE HECK CARES WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!! The beach is to behold, enjoy, REFRESH!!! No matter how old and wrinkly you get!

 It was also a great reminder to me to really appreciate the love of my life every chance I get! Watching that couple completely in love and uninhibited in their tasteful display of affection, (holding hands) made me hopeful for long romantic walks with my husband on that beach when we are old and wrinkly too! 

Thank you Lord for your hand crafted beauty we saw and took notice of every single minute of every day. You truly refreshed my soul.

Wedding Story Part ll

I have decided to Tarantino the story a bit to give more details.

Not sure what I mean by Tarantino? Me either, all I know is he is a director of movies and retells stories from the end to the beginning. So here we go.... Backwards.

The Rehearsal:

As we gathered at 413 On Wacouta for the rehearsal.

Pastor Davey took the reigns and began to run the show.He did an amazing job. With the crew he had it was a bit like herding cats.

One of the things that makes rehearsal night so fun is the relaxed atmosphere. Because you know the next night is not going to be quite so layed back.

I loved that Alex kept the long time tradition of the bow bouquet for the rehearsal. It's a tradition I hope never gets lost in the elaborate sets that today's weddings are becoming.

 My son trying to look all Hard Core in this photo while he walks me down the isle, is just a sample of the laid back nature of the night.

It really is surreal sitting there watching the child you remember holding in the middle of the night as a baby, give their life to someone else and promise forever to them.

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat.

 

I like to break up big events like this into steps.

Step 1 Wedding  Preparation

step 2  Pulling it all together

Step 3 Meeting the parents

Step 4 Rehearsal

Step 5 wedding

Step 6 Reception

Here we are about finish yet another step and I was beginning to feel like instead of taking the steps one at a time, I was falling down them! Things were going so fast. Time seemed like it was speeding up. Like I was behind the wheel of one of those faulty Toyota's with no brakes!

So we finished at 413 and proceeded to Harriet Island Boat

We wanted to do something that was indicative of Minnesota. So what better than a ride down the mighty Mississippi aboard the Jonathan Paddleford!
Honestly, the dinner was ok but the evening was amazing.
Absolutely perfect weather to be on the River.
I think everyone enjoyed the ride.

We saw 4 bald Eagles on our journey up the river. It was picture perfect.

The Bride and Groom!

The Grandparents and friends of the Groom!

Here are the proud parents of the Bride and Groom! We really felt like Familial! (Their Italian too so I can say that!)
What an amazing feeling to have your son thank you for the boat ride. He absolutely loved it!
I couldn't tell him then but it made my heart happy to know that he was so happy.
I see a happiness that my daughter in law brings to him. She accepts him for who he is and loves his quirky ways. His dirty Wrangler jeans, his crazy family, and loves him anyway!
We are all beginning a new life together. Not just the happy couple, and it feels right and it feels good!
Thank you Lord for all you have blessed us with, we are truly grateful!

Days Go By.....

Wow, it has been a whirlwind of a month.

It is not for lack of material that I have not been writing. It has indeed been lack of available time.

I will need to break up my posts in sections or it would be far to much material to cover in one post.

I am starting at the beginning.

Our Son's wedding.

It is truly amazing to wake up the morning of your first childs wedding only to discover that it feels just like any other day of the year!

We went to our coffee shop and I grabbed an iced tea as if it were going to be a completely slow, relaxing, sipping sweet tea kind of day. My husband got his regular cold drink as well. We bumped into my best friend and her husband, had a brief conversation and said, "we'll see you at the wedding."

It came out so fast and easy it was like I was saying, "we'll see you at the pool!"

I went to go get my hair done for the wedding and it literaly took 15 minutes. It was gorgeous but I was again expecting much more from the situation than that. 4,000 Bobby pins later and I was on my way home to get dressed for the wedding.

The Wedding. My SON'S GETTING MARRIED!! Surely I should feel some other way but the way I am feeling.

All gussied up we pack up the cars and head to the venue where the wedding will take place.

I see my son for the first time that day. All handsome and so happy! All of the sudden it hits me.
OMG HE"S GETTING MARRIED!
I started to cry and my sweet Brother-in-law hands me a hanky with a B on it.
That made me cry even harder. I have no idea why! The thought of the embroidered hanky sent me over the top.



The Ceremony:

Jon's life long friend officiated the wedding and was elequent and had the perfect message.

With 2 emphatic "I DO'S"

Stuck Like Glue Began to play and the happy Couple danced down the isle MARRIED!

Here is my beautiful family. Our first photo together!





The GrandParents Loved it!



 

Everyone enjoyed the photo booth my hubby made. It was the highlight of the night for most everyone!



My very favorite part of the night however, was dancing with my son. We used to dance when he was little and he would stand on my toes and I would lead him around the living room.

It was his turn! I stood on his Cowboy boots and we danced to My Wish by Rascal Flatts.

I can't imagine anything better!

We had the time of our lives.

I lived every moment of it and can tell you every single detail, which I will spare you from. I enjoyed every moment of the evening from beginning to the end, (with a few snafoo's thrown in to make lasting memories)

But overall, my heart is happy. Happy to see my son in a new light. As the leader and provider for his home. Happy to have gained a beautiful new daughter who is smart talented. I can't wait to see the plans God has for them in thier new adventure.